Burn out, and what I am doing about it
When Jacinda Ardern, prime minister of New Zealand, announced she would not be seeking re election I was (like many) shocked. Shocked…here is a woman I idolize. Who was doing it all, handling all the challenges a woman could handle and masterfully, with seeming ease and deep compassion. I was sad…the world needs more women like her, I thought! What will we do without her example?? Also shocked because women like that…the ones we can depend on, well their job is to run themselves straight into the ground and exhaustion right? That’s what capable women do right?! I couldn’t believe she didn’t receive the memo.
I was shocked…and then I cried. Cried tears of relief and appreciation. A leader still. Not giving up, at all. Showing us how it is done. Her tank is empty she said. Time to refill. Time to walk her child to school and pick her up. The ultimate act of unselfishness…to hand over the role without ego to someone who could pour from a full cup. She is burnt out.
When my child was three months and I returned from materinity leave and entered a seemingly never ending period of staff turnover that was truly shocking, as well as the challenges of moving into our new building. Then covid hit when he was eleven months old, so going into it I was already stressed and exhausted.
Covid took that exhaustion to an exponential level. I was managing mask mandates, more turnover, more parenting, financial issues. Endless staff training and hiring. I ate poorly, hardly slept, never worked out. I had physicial issues owing to my pregnancy (a hip replacement and two kinds of pelvic prolapse) which needed surgeries. Every time I had one I relished the two days of recovery in the hospital I was afforded. Somehow I got through it all, and survived.
We are now a year past covid. I have a stable team. The business has nearly fully recovered. And I am fully burnt out.
It started in December. I started having terrible brain fog. Blinding and ever present headaches. My short term memory was completely shot. I started having dizzy spells. No amount of sleep nightly or vacations can replenish my energy. I was diagnosed with depression. And then suddenly terrible TMJ, so bad I can hardly eat. Why is this happening now, when we are in the clear? Why not while I was going through it all?
I’ve gone to all kinds of specialists for answers, both allopathic and holistic. Everyone has a different answer. All the answers might be true at the same time. But what am I going to do about it? It seems to me at the root of all of the physical symptoms is one thing: depletion of energy coupled with trauma, which manifests as blockages of energy in the body. And why now? Because I am now safe to heal it.
The body is a miraculous and divinely intelligent set of systems. The pain in my jaw I have come to realise is actually related to those pelvic surgeries. And the pelvic issues? Owing to my pregnancy. Anyone who has had a child knows post partum care is seriously lacking in our current system. It has taken all my energy over the last four years to get any care in that regard at all, with every advantage on my side.
Regardless, the symptom is rarely the root cause. This is what I find so fascinating about healing work…it is mirrored throughout nature. The chiropractic and body work care I have started receiving to treat my joint pain mirrors the skin care we offer. The body, the soul, the brain all follow similar rules healing. And the more healing I experience the better I can offer it to our clients.
I have been told in working with various acupuncturists that I “spend tomorrow’s energy today”, which was part of the reason I get those headaches. I reach past my energy reserves for today and into tomorrow’s consistently, without replenishing my energy. I am sugar addicted. I scroll for hours each night. Every moment of my day is attached to responsibility and acheivement. I have consistently - for years - been depleting my energy. And have been operating at about 20 - 10% energetically. This is burn out.
But how to replenish my energy and thus cure that burn out?? It’s not culturally popular is it? We love our instant gratifciation and quick fixes. How to learn how to build and cultivate energy?
Here’s what i have come up with, through speaking with experts.
Regular yoga with the intention of building energy but not going overboard. A consistent challenging practice that makes me sweat but doesn’t exhaust me. And if I need to rest in my practice to gather energy, I do.
Removing “blockages” in my body caused by traumas. What is a blockage? A protective mechanism that corresponds and balances the actual root injury. In my case I have minute scar tissue throughout all my joints owing to hypermobility. I also have a wildly tight psoas muscle in my pelvis protecting my hip. To heal them I will need to reinjure them through bodywork by a professional, so that they can realign and heal properly.
Meditation of course. I practice transcendental meditation which I love because it is “foolproof”. Most people think that meditation is about emptying your mind…TM says that’s impossible so say a mantra in your head instead. Same effect.
More nourishing food with actual nutritional value. I don’t have time to cook so I order a subscription.
Being more present in my body…just the actual sensations of it. Breathing. I am also focusing on become more receptive and less active. Accepting more, battling less.
And finally…I will be changing my schedule from about July onward, to spend more time with my child. This will likely look like my only seeing clients on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and ending earlier in the day. The other weekdays will be dedicated to the back end of the office. My hope is this will keep me from spinning a dozen plates every day…every day should have it’s own small set of plates to keep my brain present in what I am actually doing.
And most importantly, I want to take my boy to Pre K and I want to pick him up. He is on the verge of not being so little anymore. He is on the verge of becoming fully conscious. And I want us to have this time together. I want to fully share this time with him, and put him first. It won’t be forever…in a few years he won’t have this time for me. So I am going to make sure I don’t miss it, now.
I would love to share with you in the upcoming months this journey of healing, and the practioners and changes I am working with to this end. We are all on a journey of healing all the time, and my hope would be that even if you don’t have the same issues we might learn something about how to heal ourselves, together.
Preventative Maintenance
How does she do it??
How does JLO look like that at 52?? Is it her olive oil skincare line?
I think we all know it’s not. Does she get a little botox and filler? I’d say almost certainly yes… but I’m not an injector, so I can’t offer an official opinion. Plastic surgery? The jury is out.
But if I had to guess what her secret is I have two words for you…
PREVENTATIVE. MAINTENANCE.
She doesn’t drink (ahem). She has a youthful spirit and works out. She gets a lot of sleep. But…I bet above all she started in with the big preventative maintenance treatments while she was young and has maintained her blessed genetics since then with a lot of help. And what is preventative maintenance? Let’s just define it as tuning up your physical symptoms regularly and BEFORE issues arise.
One of the reasons I got into esthetics is that I wanted this kind of help but didn’t have the money to get it. I thought, “Science is not exclusive to the rich! I can figure this out and do it for myself. Science is universal and for everyone.” It has been my goal to bring luxury services to everyone…we all deserve to feel good about how we look. We can all age well. We can all direct the aging process to shape ourselves further into who we want to be.
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David Bowie said, “Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been”. I feel it. Our bodies are adaptive and malleable. The goal is realistically not to NOT age…it’s to age gracefully and purposefully. We can grow into better versions of ourselves every day.
So in the realm of skin, the facials we offer support this. Your esthetician is like your personal trainer, working to challenge your body into growing into its greatest potential. And now, we have so many exciting next-level treatments, the kind of treatments that might be done just once a year, to really clean house and support graceful aging.
A common argument against these kinds of treatments you might hear from your well-meaning loved ones? “You don’t need it (IPL, Frax, facials, etc.)!” Yes, and I’m hoping to keep it that way by getting it, You reply! Once the issue sets in (pigmentation, wrinkles, sagging) it is much more painful and costly to fix than it is to prevent. And you have to live looking at the issue as it sets in. I don’t know about you, but my brain does not have space for this!
So let me expand on how our new treatments offer the best preventative maintenance out there (as mentioned, we offer the treatments I want for myself, so I have given them all a lot of thought as we brought them on throughout the Autumn):
Stemzyme: This is a big one. A two-month course of treatment with homecare included and five treatments in total 12 days apart. Stemzyme does something no other treatment does, which is encourage your body to make new stem cells that will become pristine, young, perfect skin cells. Not old cells that resemble young ones. Brand new baby ones. There is no pain involved, just five enzyme treatments. No downtime either!
There is no other treatment out there like this, period! I just finished my course and might do another, that’s how much I loved it. My biggest improvement? My neck, by a mile. And in terms of preventative maintenance this is the Grand Daddy. Do it once a year, January and February are a perfect time…but it can be done any time. Consider it your winter self-improvement project.
IPL: Did you know that getting IPL four times a year can actually make your DNA replicate in a more youthful way? Which means your skin gets even BETTER looking as you age? How does IPL do that?? The secret is in targeting and destroying chromophore abnormalities. Within your skin, there is an accumulation of UV damage. IPL targets this damage, burns it, and then your body disposes of it. This is like cleaning all the sun damage out of your skin… which allows your skin to function better and therefore age in a more youthful way. IPL is a classic laser/light treatment with minimal pain and downtime. Get it done a few times while there is no sun, and you will notice that when you are in the sun in the summer, much less pigmentation will pop up! It’s a win-win, you look flawless now, and the results just get better over time.
Microneedling: A classic. The TINY needles create micro-injuries in the skin, which stimulate collagen production. We do it a bit differently in that we use a stamp rather than a pen…this means less pain, less downtime, same results! What is it good for? Fine lines, pore size, texture/scarring issues, pigmentation…particularly melasma! As the collagen stimulation takes at least a month to really kick in, we recommend at least three sessions a month apart.
Laser Genesis: Everyone’s favorite. No pain, no downtime, good for every skin tone and condition. Heating the skin creates new collagen formation and gives an incredible glow. Even good for melasma! Feels like a hot stone massage, most people fall asleep getting it. There is nothing not to love about Genesis!
Pearl Frax: An ablative laser treatment for texture, tone, and fine lines. Can be done with minimal downtime and pain…about a day of redness and a 4/10 on the pain scale. This should be done once a year, twice a year max. Tiny channels are ablated into the skin which creates a healing response and heat which tightens the skin as it evens texture.
Skin Renewal Peel: One week of intense downtime, a year’s worth of results! This is an incredibly unique balm form peel, which is good for all skin tones and conditions. The balm slows absorption, so it tricks the skin into thinking it’s been more wounded than it has been. This means a huge flood of collagen, and pigment rising to the surface to shed. The pain isn’t that bad…once again, most people put it at 4/10 on the pain scale. And the results are incredible! Do this once a year, twice if you are ambitious and super serious about doing everything you can to age beautifully.
So which of the above is right for you? All of them? I mean in an ideal world sure…but this is where your esthetician comes in. We can help you choose the right one. It’s a huge investment of time and money I know! And we want to get it right. Give us your concerns, let us see your skin…and we will discuss together the best option to fit your budget and schedule.
Then, in the spring and summer just coast! Get some enzymes and facials to maintain, and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Invest in yourself…the holidays are over, and you’ve done all the things for all the other people you love. Now it’s time to take care of yourself. Embrace the aging process, we will walk the path with you.
Turn Back Time with Stemzyne!
We are going big this year for Black Friday, Small Biz Saturday, and Cyber Monday!
First of all, we will be offering a FREE DMK product of your choice with the purchase of DMK products. It’s tiered, so a $30 gift with a purchase of $150 or more, a $60 gift with a purchase of $250 or more, or $90 with a purchase of $350 or more.
Also, we have a big new treatment… Stemzyme!
Stemzyme is a five-treatment, two-month program. There is a two-and-a-half-hour initial treatment with the famous DMK oxygenating Enzyme mask. Then there are four follow-up Enzyme Mask treatments spaced twelve days apart. All necessary products for the two-month course are included…this is a cleanser, a sunscreen, a supplement, and four serums. The price total for all of it is $1950.
Stemzyme has its roots in DMK’s oxygen therapy but is married to Ayurveda and botanical science. The products are all natural and good for every skin tone, type, and condition. There is truly nothing else like it in the market! Unlike most treatments focused on stem cell production, Stemzyme does not introduce growth factors from external sources. Instead, it stimulates and cultivates the production of your skin’s own stem cells! This is groundbreaking as most growth factor treatments are very “hit or miss”…there is little way of telling if the body accepts or rejects the growth factor. Furthermore, if the growth factors are from an incompatible stem cell to your skin it will do nothing!
Stemzyme is truly a “fountain of youth” treatment in that we are cultivating the creation of new baby stem cells. As we age our cell's replication and production is compromised, and so when we give traditional treatment we are attempting to bring optimal health to aged cells. Stemzyme on the other hand creates NEW Stem Cells…so the kind of cells you had when you were younger! Which means they will replicate and age in a more youthful way. It is literally turning back time in your skin on a fundamental level, with lasting and visible results…on a cellular level.
Our sale offer is that when you buy a course of Stemzyme for $1950 we will give you the new MD line of products from DMK for after your treatment program. This means the new Firmatrix serum, Transgenesis face creme, Elevate neck creme, Eye Web eye creme, Wetter than Water mist, and Satin Screen SPF. This is DMK's newest and most effective anti-aging line and is over $600 in value.
So all told the value total is $2600 and you save $600! And this is enough product for four full months.
We have a very limited number of these deals on offer, so it will be first come first serve. I’m happy to share I was our guinea pig for the Stemzyme training, and already love my results.
We love our clients, and we love DMK…so these offers are meant to give every incentive to try something new from them with us. Orders may be placed in person or via orders@adrienneshostak.com.
Thank you as always for your support…have a happy Thanksgiving All!
Go “Big” with Bespoke this Autumn
Big things are happening at Bespoke this Autumn! And by “big” I mean more paramedical, results-driven treatments. I’ve been lining it up all summer, just waiting for Labor Day to start unveiling them. Peel season is upon us, and we are ready!
Amongst the new treatments will be the Skin Renewal Peel from Elaine Brennan, the creator of the micropeel we all know and love in the office. We have also purchased a new Cutera Xeo laser! This will be good for vascular issues, pigmentation, texture, etc… as it performs IPL, Frax, and YAG modalities.
And finally, our beloved DMK has rolled out a new treatment five years in the making...Stemzyme! This is a five-part Enzyme treatment series designed to stimulate the growth of your own stem cells. There’s nothing else out there like it!
We will be rolling these out throughout the Autumn. I’m anticipating October for the laser and December for the Stemzyme Treatment. We will also be hosting an open house event on November 18 to showcase all the new innovations. Stay tuned for when/how to buy tickets to attend. The number will be limited!
In the meantime, we will be running specials as we introduce the new treatments. Our first will be for the Elaine Brennan Skin Renewal Peeling... or “big” peel as we are calling it.
Think of it as six micropeels in one. The results are dramatic! The genius of the Elaine Brennan peels is them being in a balm form rather than a liquid. This slows absorption, making it extremely targeted to the epidermal/dermal juncture. Unlike most peels which are hard to gauge, this one stops right at that juncture without damaging the dermis. This means a strong production of collagen follows but with zero damage to the living layer of the skin!
Yes, there is a lot of downtime involved. Application is over two days... the peel sits on the face and neck for two hours each day. It is a bit hot and tingly, but we use strong fans and the sensation subsides after twenty minutes...most clients nap for the remaining time.
The next week your skin gets tight, dry, and dark. It starts to “lift off” and peel around the mouth starting on day four. Day seven or eight we meet for an hour to peel off the remaining skin in the office.
And when that remaining skin comes off, the new skin is pristine! Not inflamed, bouncy, even, & glowing. It is incredible. The texture is improved, fine lines... any and every skin condition is improved.
Things I love about this peel? Little to no supporting homecare is needed... we provide you with a soothing cream to use the next week and that’s it! After that, you can go back to your normal routine. Also, it is good for every skin tone... from the lightest to the darkest! It is also good for every skin condition...melasma and acne in particular.
So in one week, you can get the best skin of your life. And it always works without fail!
Ultimately we will price it at $850...but for the month of October through December, you can have it done for $650! Considering it provides the results of six months of treatment in one go, I think it’s a bargain. Please note: due to its timings we have a limited amount of availability for this treatment, and pre-booking is required. To do so, please book in person with your therapist, via email, or by phone. There is an email form at the bottom of this blog you can directly request an appointment with.
Go big with us this Autumn… we can’t wait to share our new innovations with you.
Bespoke Body
Let me let you in on a secret. If you are over the age of 40 it might be a secret you already know.
One day, weird things are likely to happen to the skin on your body. And it’s not pretty.
Shocking really. Like any sign of aging, it seems to happen all at once, though in hindsight it was happening all along. I remember thinking in my 20’s “How does a knee SAG?? how is that even possible?” Now, unfortunately, I know.
What are the biggest issues that occur with the skin of the body? Crepiness, cellulite…loss of elasticity, and fat pads, creating sagging skin. Pigmentation (of course)…scarring, stretch marks. Maybe all of the above! And is it any wonder? Do you give the skin of your body any love, like you give your face? Or do you just slap on a moisturizer after a shower, as most of us do?
What goes for your face goes for your body…most moisturizers just coat the skin and provide little absorption and nutrition. The good news is that as the skin of the body receives so little attention, introducing pharmaceutical-grade skin care and treatments makes a big difference quickly.
To this end, in June we will be reintroducing Bespoke Body. But with a few key differences! Treatment now will focus mostly on the conditions described above, and performed by the entire staff. So what will we be offering?
BACK FACIAL WITH PEEL
A quickie treatment for acne and scarring, with no downtime! Peel, extractions, and transdermal infusion or mask to follow. For active acne and pigmentation.
One hour of treatment, $200
BODY ENZYME
DMK’s famous oxygenating Enzyme mask for the body! Great for firming, lymph drainage, pigmentation, acne, and skin laxity. One large area included…either the back, bum, and back of thighs or tummy and front of thighs. Treatment includes cleanse, exfoliation, finishing products, and your choice of DMK homecare product for the body.
Ninety minutes of treatment, $240
ALKALINE WASH
This one-of-a-kind treatment is for acne, scarring, pigmentation…stretch mark revision, and even hair removal! Includes DMK Enzyme mask after the wash, and no downtime.
Price and time vary per area but range from two to two and a half hours of treatment, $260 to $300
MICRONEEDLING FOR BODY
Utilizing Procell’s needling stamp, for collagen induction. Good for skin laxity, post-inflammatory pigmentation, stretch marks, and scarring! Minimal downtime, with a complimentary Stemfactor serum for homecare. One area per session can be the front of thighs, back of thighs, upper or lower back, tummy, chest/neck, or chest/arms!
One hour of treatment, $400
And what home care products for the body will we be offering?
DMK Maximum Moisture Body Creme
A deep-penetrating body moisturizer, Maximum Moisture body lotion is a blend of ingredients that will not clog pores or leave a greasy film on the skin. Formulated with healthy skin oils, rich skin-loving lipids, allantoin to soothe and hydrate, as well as antioxidants, this product is excellent for dry or irritated, chapped, or sun-exposed skin. A superior moisturizer for skin nutrition! $55
DMK Hydralouffa Body Wash
A non-granular body gel designed with caviar lime, a gentle aha to cleanse and help exfoliate dead skin cells. It is an excellent formulation for dry skin, reactive skin, and skin suffering from folliculitis. $40… Bundle with Max Moist and receive $15 off!
DMK Aminodine Mist
DMK’s “golden water” Aminodine is an age management formulation that contains natural extracts that could help revive mature, middle-aged, and sun-damaged skins. A refreshing hydrating spray that soaks into the skin helping to reactivate glucose and normalizing the free radical effect of glycation (reduces the ability of collagen fiber to regenerate leading to wrinkling, creping, and sagging of the skin). For use after showering and before moisturizing. $50
DMK Solar Damage Gel
Solar Damage soothes skin inflammation and redness. Restores the interstitial fluid of the epidermis, bringing hydration and vitality back, creating firmer, plumper, more replenished skin. Solar Damage gel has specific barrier protection effects, helping to protect and adding rich aloe and vitamin E, which aids in collagen rejuvenation. $25
DMK MicroPeel
Offers a quick and non-irritating method of removing dead cells and debris to improve the appearance of dull, coarse, or wrinkled skin. MicroPeel is a gentle exfoliant to eliminate dead cell material ideal for acne and congested skin. With lactic and glycolic acids to brighten and tighten $50
DMK Body Sculpt
Body Sculpting cream is a contouring and tightening topical home treatment cream. Designed to help reshape the body in stubborn areas and reduce the appearance of cellulite by smoothing and firming loose body skin using thermogenesis. Note: Not for use by diabetics or pregnant women. $80
In all honesty…I use at least two of each of these products nightly. It might seem like a lot, but it really only takes 5 to 10 min to apply, and the payoff is worth it! And I’ll be sharing simple treatments you can do with the products at home…such as gua sha, body brushing, and a Body Sculpt wrap.
Once you get in the habit of giving your body even a fraction of the attention you give your face, you will wonder why you ever did it any other way. Let’s get summer ready together, and have you feeling good in your skin from head to toe :)
The Metamorphosis Continues
I thought it might be nice this Mother’s Day to update my blog from last year, “The Metamorphosis of Motherhood”.
Another year down the line…my boy turned three last week. All I can say is each passing year is truly bittersweet. Bitter as each day is so precious…he changes so much so quickly there is hardly time to appreciate each moment. Sweet because as he does I love the person he is becoming, and it gets easier. Now that he can speak just being able to ask what he wants and try to reason with him about him is an absolute game-changer.
One of the hardest aspects of motherhood is the inherent uncertainty of it all. Each child can be different, just when you think you have it figured out you don’t. When you figure out one stage they change. The quick adapting and lack of perfection is baked in, and the humbling that comes with it is healthy I think. And so I try to make peace with my mix of emotions…yes I’d love to be pregnant again but probably won’t. Yes, I’d love to hold a newborn baby of mine again, but love him at three too. Yes, there is never enough time, and we can’t go back in time. The moment is all we have and then it’s gone. Yes, memory fades. Bittersweet, all of it.
Physically the issues I described last year improved with pelvic floor PT…but not to the point of resolution. After three years of trying to figure out what was wrong I was finally diagnosed with two kinds of prolapse…and though mild they weren’t going to get any better, only worse. So I had my second major surgery (the first was replacing my left hip in May of last year) in less than a year to correct it.
I read recently that a woman’s postpartum journey is a journey back to herself…which is once again bittersweet. You go from living your life as one person, then two people…then you give birth and are born again as a mother. The postpartum journey is one of reintegrating who you were before you gave birth….bitter because this journey can be tinged with guilt. I don’t want to go back to who I was…but I would like certain parts back. For most of my adult life, I was hyper fit, owing to a background in ballet. That body took a decade to build, of blood sweat, and tears. In nine months it was all gone, my body feeling uncomfortable and unfamiliar. And so these surgeries were a big step to feeling like myself again…it’s a different body but feels more like mine again. I feel better, which is sweet. The bitter part is I am unlikely after this bit of the journey to get pregnant again and destroy the work of the surgeries. So with my returning sense of self is the loss of living through the miracle of childbirth again.
I felt when I delivered him I had crested a mountain, and the mountain was my life. The moment he came out I was standing at the top, surveying all of it. It felt as if my ultimate purpose had been served. My whole life was building to this peak moment. And every moment after would be descent…ultimately towards death. The desire to go to the peak of the mountain, again and again, will forever beckon…it is one of the most incredible experiences a person can have, to carry and birth a child. To admit it is over and say to oneself “did I feel that enough, did I savor it enough, did I love it enough” is overwhelming. But that’s life, bittersweet. I try to let go and tell myself we don’t know what the future holds. I try to live with the uncertainty of it all.
That’s motherhood. Happy Mother’s Day to us all, thanks for making the world go round.
Celebrating Our Survival
You may have noticed that recently we’ve been getting a bit of publicity. Going into 2022, I set this as a goal for us… not so much to gather new business, but more to celebrate having made it through Covid. The fact that despite it all, we made it through, and here I stand with a thriving team, spirit intact, deserves to be celebrated. My goal is for the pictures and magazines and PR to mark this moment in time and this team, for us to take a good look in the mirror and recognize where all of that hard work and dedication has taken us.
In that spirit, I would be very grateful if you might take a moment of your time to help me celebrate Jessica Witchie!
To know her is to love her, I think it is safe to say. Jessica was the fourth esthetician I hired and trained when she was just 23. There is no one at Bespoke - not even myself - that has put more hands-on faces than Jessica. I can not think of a person who better embodies the philosophy of the office…she has such vast technical knowledge, which is applied with such grace and ease and warmth. She meets each task of learning with quiet determination and nuance. She is the heart of Bespoke.
And I think this is what is most striking about Jessica to me…she offers her FULL attention, care, and love to every single client, in every single session without wavering. If you have had her hands on your face you know the magic she offers (I imagine a golden retriever puppy chasing butterflies in a field of flowers when she massages me). Yet, at the same time, she will transform your skin! To do this all day every day is a massive feat…and yet she does and with humility. She inspires clients, myself, and the rest of the team daily, and I honestly feel blessed to know her. To know her is to love her, and long may it last.
In my opinion, Jessica is the best esthetician in DC, and I know so many people feel the same. Reader’s Choice awards with DC Modern Luxury are closing in two days, so if you would please take a moment to vote for Jessica as Best Esthetician DC I’d appreciate it…please help me to say thank you to her. Even if you haven't had Jessica as your esthetician, her magic touch and attention to detail are representative of the entire team. Know that a vote for her is a vote for all of us, and we will be celebrating together!
You can also vote for us in any other category you see fit, we suggest Best Facial, Best Place to be Pampered, and Best Skincare!
Thank you for your support, it is because of you that we are able to continue to do what we love.♡
Helping Hands for Ukraine
My last name, Shostak, is Ukrainian. My paternal grandparents met in a refugee camp in Germany... my father was born there. My grandmother escaped the Russian regime in Ukraine at 19, having fled in the night. She left her family behind and without warning, never to see them again. She did this to protect them…she wouldn’t even write them letters, for fear that the letters would be discovered and her family sent to Siberia as punishment for her betrayal.
There were many times in early adulthood I thought about using my middle name as my surname, just for the sake of ease. I made a conscious decision to go ahead and struggle through it, as I have always been pretty proud of that heritage. My grandmother (Eva) was a bit of a legend, and growing up it was quite clear to me that to be Ukrainian was something special. I decided to double down on that last name, and am proud my boy has it too. I chose his name (Leo) to compliment it... his middle name (Joseph) is my paternal grandfather’s. My last name is pretty immediately recognizable on the occasion I meet someone who is actually Ukrainian. There is joy in that recognition...it’s as if they know I am aware of a beautiful secret they have. The secret is that Ukrainian people are fierce, strong, noble, and beautiful. I’ve always known this because of my grandmother...and now the rest of the world knows it too.
My grandmother’s journey from Ukraine to the US took ten years. For much of this journey, she was alone. There was a time in my life I imagined writing a screenplay about this journey, having pieced together scraps of the story told to my aunt. I would spend hours imagining the story from beginning to end, trying to envision a seamless movie. As I was an actress then I imagined trying to enact it. I imagined fully being in my grandmother’s shoes, how she felt. The anger, fear, the despair, the hope. I imagined the village that she left, the danger there so great it was unlivable. I read about the famine imposed by Stalin, in which millions died. I looked up pictures from the era and saw skeletal children and people dying in the streets. I heard about Russian soldiers raping villagers and desperate survival measures. Man-made, relentless, imposed terror... for every story shared I know there were a dozen worse ones withheld. Stories such as the ones being revealed now, in Mariupol and Bucha. They sicken me to hear, but I am not surprised.
Sometimes I make dark jokes about generational trauma. There is a sliver of me that has always expected the unimaginable horrors my grandmother witnessed to erupt at any moment, as the people of Ukraine are experiencing now. My grandmother was one for using every last scrap of anything and wasting nothing...I am the same to a degree. She reused the water in her house...from her bath to her laundry to the garden. When she passed there were spotless oatmeal and yogurt canisters full of folded dried paper towels she had saved to reuse. I joke that I too live with a refugee’s sense of scarcity...and I’m only half-joking. And then of course just to be a woman is to have generational trauma...this rape or Ukraine and Putin’s gaslighting used to justify it has been experienced by every woman at one time or another, I think.
I loved my grandmother’s accent and her slanted eyes. I loved her tidy house with its carpet scraps in the basement, making a patchwork floor. I loved the colors and the needlework in her pillows, and her practical patterned house dresses with pockets she would wear when working in the garden. We all loved her pierogi (she would work on them for days but never sit down to eat them, instead just making sure everyone was fed) and her apple pie (the simplest recipe...no sugar, just apples cut into the crust). But most of all I loved her strength and resilience. This more than anything to me symbolized what it was to be Ukrainian.
My grandmother was a dedicated Catholic. I have some artwork from her house representing this...taken from a calendar, and holiday cards. The climax of the story of her journey to the US was that after a long journey by boat over the Atlantic, with my grandfather and two small children (and during which she was violently seasick) she finally arrives in America. She is standing in line attempting to enter the country and discovers that she will be tested to be able to read or else be turned away. She was unable. The story goes that she was handed a newspaper, and panicking she began to pray in her native language. The officer, mistaking her prayer for reading, passed her and her family - my family - through.
God was with her, she had said. And for as long as she was with us that was clear, it shone from her the way it shines from the Ukrainian people now. When I heard that Russia had invaded I thought it would be a matter of days before they fell. And instead, they are standing strong and proud once again, and, in the face of this assault and this abuse, it is clear God is with them. Little old ladies who look just like my grandma are making Molotov cocktails in the streets. When Russia invaded I felt utterly hopeless, and yet they have given me hope in humanity.
It’s hard to know what to do when faced with such overwhelming distress, fear, and anger. It’s understandable to want to look away, give up, or go numb. It’s easy to think in the age of “thoughts and prayers” for one tragedy after another that thoughts and prayers are meaningless. But they do matter, absolutely everything matters. Our job is to just put one foot in front of the other and do what we can... as my Grandmother did.
Ukrainians happen to make incredible estheticians, and fittingly many of them work with DMK both in the US and abroad. It brings me a lot of joy to share with you that DMK has organized a drive with UNICEF in support of their ongoing response to the war, in which they will be matching $250,000 in donations. Please, take this opportunity to help us to meet this goal. Donations may be made through the link below.
And, in addition to this contribution (or in lieu of, for those who can’t) I’m asking anyone interested to join me daily at 8 am and/or 8 pm in saying this prayer for them, provided by Marianne Williamson.
Dear God,
Please send angels to Ukraine tonight.
Awaken the heart,
fortify the strength
and calm the fears of all concerned.
Lift them above the battlefield.
Send Your miracles,
break the back of evil.
In the midst of war,
please bring forth peace.
Bless and protect your precious children.
Thank you, God.
Amen
Glow & Go
Time...it's a luxury most of us lack. It's so hard to find the time to do all the things we need to do AND take care of ourselves.
This is why we are introducing our new Glow & Go service, which will have you in and out in less than an hour! The treatment is a gentle exfoliation followed by extractions, and a transdermal infusion of hydrators and quick massage. We have a wide variety of exfoliators to get you glowing, for every kind of condition you can think of. Hydration, pigmentation, acne, texture issues…let us choose the perfect one for you!
To celebrate this new addition to the menu we will be giving samples from our new line, Skinbetter with your service throughout February!
Here are just a few of our favorite "glowgetters" we can choose from:
Quick Peel by DMK is for acne-prone, dull, or vascular (red) skin. The cassia (cinnamon) creates a "pseudo heat" in the skin which jumpstarts the skin's circulation and helps to clear redness. It goes on feeling icy...then it heats up...and gets icy again. We rub it off, which also gently exfoliates your skin. The quick peel is great for every skin type!
Prozyme is great for dry flakey skin, pigmentation, and fine lines. Unlike traditional acid peels which loosen dead skin cells but might not fully remove them, Prozyme dissolves it right there and then! Painless, and it's only on for up to ten minutes. The result is baby smooth skin!
Cherry Enzyme is for pigmented and/or acne-prone skin. It exfoliates and brightens the skin with the antioxidant with Lactic and Mandelic acids and promotes deep hydration while reducing the surface signs of aging. Arbutin and Kojic provide further lightning capabilities! This is the peel for you if you want gentle and brightening.
The AlphaRet Professional Peel System by Skinbetter Science uses both Lactic acid and Retinol to improve overall skin tone and texture, increase hydration, and diminish visual signs of aging, sun damage, and blemishes. A stronger peel which will leave you with lasting results!
Pro Alpha is absolutely one of our favorites! Though it is largely glycolic acid it has superior capabilities for hydration, and therefore congestion! It pulls water up through the skin giving it a dewey appearance, and in doing so helps to push congestion up and out for easy extractions. It gives a beautiful, hydrated finish to just about every skin type in minutes.
No downtime, all glow and a true "pick me up" to make you feel all shiny and new in these dull winter months. Worth making time for!
What’s New in 2022?
If you’ve worked with me...you know I’m a bit of a mad scientist. I love to tinker and take things apart just to put them back together. I do this not only with skincare but with the business itself and pretty much every aspect of my life with regularity. Let’s call it creative spirit.
How can I make this better? I am always asking myself this. This approach is not for everyone...I get it. There is much to be said for safety and stability, and repetition of a good thing. However, I can’t help but ask myself this in regards to serving clients continually...which results in Bespoke forever being a work in progress. In truth, I foresee it always being this way, until I close its doors. A metaphor, certainly.
So please, bear with me as I outline a few new options and changes coming to the menu in 2022. My hope is they will allow us to continue to serve you better.
First...we are introducing a new line of peels and products by Skinbetter! This will allow us to do a forty-five-minute treatment for you...and you can be in and out in about an hour. Our treatments have tended to be so long, with some DMK treatments clocking in at 2.5 hours. It’s just so hard for many clients to find that time for a visit... and hard for us to find time in the schedule, especially if it’s an evening or a weekend.
Our new Glow & Go, will be a cleanse, chemical peel tailored to type, extractions, and then either an alginate (“jelly”) mask, oxygenating high frequency, or a quick sculpting massage to the face and neck with finishing products. I thought you didn’t like peels (you might be asking)? It’s true, we typically don’t advocate overuse of acid products at home, as they can strip your skin. But in the hands of your trained therapist who can pick you the perfect peel for the perfect amount of time, I think it can be a very useful tool...especially for acne sufferers who need to visit more frequently. Think of it as a boot camp class for your face! These peels can serve a variety of purposes, from treating acne to pigmentation to aiding in hydration...all with no downtime. Treatment will be available from February, pricing will be similar to Micropeel.
Also new, are our products by Skinbetter! Skinbetter is a technology and results-driven line and everyone’s favorite right now throughout the esthetics industry. I thought DMK and Osmosis were your favorites I am being asked?! They are, yes! But I also can’t resist the incredible before and after pictures, and Skinbetter has them. Skincare isn’t a zero-sum game...there can be more than one line that creates results. And having trained in depth now with Skinbetter I can say safely these products deliver! And they are so simple to use, with no intricate multi-step routines. We are so excited to share these new products with you in 2022, and to this end in February when you book a Bespoke Peel we will give you custom-picked Skinbetter sample packs for you to try. We are all using them in the office, and I have no doubt you will come to love them as well.
Another addition to the menu for Spring of 2022 will be greater options for treating yourself at home...more virtual consults and curated boxes of treatments and products you can do yourself. I really do want there to be solutions for everyone at Bespoke, and at every price point...one of the main issues I would like to find solutions for is our having the capability to help clients who can’t make it into the office (and/or it’s not in the budget) to still get results at home with our help.
And finally, a note regarding our pricing for 2022...as we all know, due to supply chain issues there has been inflation across the board in most industries. Ours is no exception. A few months ago, Osmosis increased their prices substantially...and now DMK has introduced a slight increase. Therefore I am afraid we must also accordingly increase the prices for these products and treatments from 2/1/22. Hopefully, there will be no further increases upcoming...and these increases are one of the reasons we are introducing other options for products and treatments, to fit every budget and need.
What changes would you like to see at Bespoke in 2022? I am always all ears, and constructive criticism is very welcome.